I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
