There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
