I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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