I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize