Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
