i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
pray to the hookup gods
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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