So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
