im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
