I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
