I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
barbara walters just said penis...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
