Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
