I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
