He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
