it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
