It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
