it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
