we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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