better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
