Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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