it wasn't lemon gatorade
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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