he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
