i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
