Well apparently he's into motor boating.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
