I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
