I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
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