she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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