I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
