Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
