I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
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