that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
