things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
