Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
