Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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