don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
