Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
