Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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