I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
