At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I don't think brook has ever known best
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
