last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
So many bounce houses so little time
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
