I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize