What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize