i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
