I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
