im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
