Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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