My first STD was from a foam party
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
