YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
