I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
