u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
