he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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