She said her name was "party"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize