i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
