I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
