How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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