Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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