I swear she didn't look like that last week.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
