I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
nutella sex= disaster
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
did i walk over a car last night?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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