i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
