I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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