You're a womanizer and a bitch.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
