Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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