I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
